the threshold of my tears

nowadays, if i go over 65% intensity of any of my emotions, i cry. so i stop myself at 64 and let the tears return to the back of my eyeballs.

a july 26th 6:43pm rant

today i got a call from my father. he needed some details for insurance. so for some god-awful reason, he decided to call me…one of his spawn children. why couldn’t he call my brother? he doesn’t hate our father as much i do. i really wanted to let the call go to missed call…but idiotically…

Chicken Leg

How do I tell someone that I do not like chicken legs because my mother abstained from eating them for 18 years? Just so that her two children would get the bird’s two legs. When we finally left for college, she called up one night and told me how much she enjoyed eating the chicken…

metaphorical babies, amirite?

i cried for the stupidest reason today! well not a stupid reason, more like the trigger for my tears came from an unexpected place that i’m a little embarrassed about it. i was reading a manhwa called how to snag an alpha. the story had developed to where the main couple has a child. the…

love is bipolar

being bipolar is like believing i don’t deserve to love anyone and will die alone and at the same time believing no one deserves to love me because i’m just an overall amazing person who won’t compromise for someone elses pride and ego.

the day i smelled of death

don’t let the smell of candy and roses fool you it is simply to mask the smell of death emanating from my mind and body the stench of death would have given away my true cover but i will douse myself in essential oils and oud so that you will never know what a dead…

on the verge

today i am on the verge of overwhelming my tear ducts i am on the cliff of having my throat clogged up i am tipping off the edge with me clutching my gut i am about to freefall to have my ribcage splintered i am running out of tape to keep my senses intact.

licking love

filling my eyes with tears from reading love stories and licking it as it reaches my lips knowing that might be the only time i indulge myself in ingesting love with my 5 senses.

a good place

a quietude of the soul had come over me neither sadness nor happiness neither emptiness nor fulfilment; a quiet disturbed life had left only the smell of detergent of unsuccessful attempts at scrubbing at my flawed personality and getting my life back on track.

got my finger stuck down my throat

I ran to the bathroom and inserted myself into my mirror’s image Under that disgusting blue light that brought up all the demonic details Of a private restroom. Dripping sinks and damp breath everywhere I looked. I sat down on top of the toilet cover and pleaded myself to calm down. I would have cried…

Hungry

I am always hungry My impulses rampant And my sex drive a little desperate. So days feel like I have both hands on the steering wheel But I am trying to land an engineless airplane. I am afraid because my copilot is rarely there And I have to remind myself to manually breath. What is…