death by valentine’s chocolate

I believe God’s biggest curse was love. We feel miserable without it and we die without it. we feel euphoric when it hits and nothing can quench that thirst except love. When love fades it becomes another form of death. It makes our blood toxic and we can only blame nourselves for falling. Some are…

clipped wings

you took away my ability so speak back just like your mother took yours. and now i just listen in silence while everyone walks all over me. thank you for plucking my feathers before i learnt to fly, but i refuse to die while living under you, i refuse to stay put, i refuse to…

i wish i was forty

my therapist says i’m fine but i remind myself it’ll be time to think about suicide when age forty hits the tide. i hurt people i love and the people i hurt don’t shove they don’t push or bow they just exist to remind me how- every good action i’ve done is to make amends…

if an island was a man

this man is a socialite with an introverted family, a lonely man in a crowd, a horrid personality in a sea of good charity. he believes a family devoid of love loved him, but it’s been years since he’s been a good man, a good husband, a good father. who could love a man so…

walls

my father was good at what he does – deceive he was so paranoid about the outside world knowing about the beast within that he built tall walls, enough to best Rapunzel’s tower. but he kept captives, – my mother, my brother and i and even when we ran outside the walls searching for help,…

saying your name

I think of you when I masturbate, Even though our skinny love ended in 2020 and You’re not mine anymore. I think of you when I’m feeling down because you were my island, my floater. You influence me even when you’re not near me. Your positivity infects me. You make me crave for something I’ve…

there’s a crack in the fixture

casually suicidal wiping the dust off my wrist checking my pulse nearing my neck if life was fixed and you were too would you still feel the way i do? there was fatigue of hundreds of days within me and one fine day, this man tells me- i promise you’ll be fine in 6weeks my…

confused by change

confused by change; gutpunched by kindness. that’s how i feel about my parents after family therapy. my shrink tells me he sees significant change in me, no more the depressed child with a knotted brain. my medicines did increase, but my mind is free. but somewhere is a creeping discomfort, am i allowed to trust…

X bestfriend

So some of my closest friends are from school, and for the longest time, I believed we were close enough for me to come out to them. I wasn’t as close with my college mates though. One night, back when I was 20, i was giddily hiding in my hostel bathroom, because i finally stopped…

i cut people out of my life easily.

as if as an automatic daily reminder, i always check if i have anything to lose if i have to lose you; and 9 times out of 10, the answer is no. the only thing holding us together is my love for you. if my love turns null and void so do we.

penalty

i’ve been feeling miserable lately. i feel abandoned. i feel like i am reaping what i sow. i am so hell bent on being alone and untouched that i hurt everyone and feel no remorse. but all those times i am reminded that my parents did a horrible job of raising me, i think they…