penalty

i’ve been feeling miserable lately. i feel abandoned. i feel like i am reaping what i sow. i am so hell bent on being alone and untouched that i hurt everyone and feel no remorse. but all those times i am reminded that my parents did a horrible job of raising me, i think they…

my parents gave me 2 cells and a prison

i hoped to never be like you when i grow up but now that i’m an adult, i feel shattered i hoped to never remain tame and quiet like my mum because i knew i never wanted to be taken advantage of and i hoped to never be loud and irritable like my dad because…

break, bitch

sometimes i torment someone and try my hardest to make them hate me; sometimes unintentionally but mostly consciously. i will repeatedly break their heart and make them walk on eggshells around me. once the abused, now the abuser i hope they hate me. it sickens me when they don’t abandon me because i don’t want…

when i met you in the summer

whenever i’m with you, i’d always hope it was summer, where the days are longer, because I know your mother wanted you home before it got darker.

the threshold of my tears

nowadays, if i go over 65% intensity of any of my emotions, i cry. so i stop myself at 64 and let the tears return to the back of my eyeballs.

a july 26th 6:43pm rant

today i got a call from my father. he needed some details for insurance. so for some god-awful reason, he decided to call me…one of his spawn children. why couldn’t he call my brother? he doesn’t hate our father as much i do. i really wanted to let the call go to missed call…but idiotically…

Chicken Leg

How do I tell someone that I do not like chicken legs because my mother abstained from eating them for 18 years? Just so that her two children would get the bird’s two legs. When we finally left for college, she called up one night and told me how much she enjoyed eating the chicken…

metaphorical babies, amirite?

i cried for the stupidest reason today! well not a stupid reason, more like the trigger for my tears came from an unexpected place that i’m a little embarrassed about it. i was reading a manhwa called how to snag an alpha. the story had developed to where the main couple has a child. the…

love is bipolar

being bipolar is like believing i don’t deserve to love anyone and will die alone and at the same time believing no one deserves to love me because i’m just an overall amazing person who won’t compromise for someone elses pride and ego.

the day i smelled of death

don’t let the smell of candy and roses fool you it is simply to mask the smell of death emanating from my mind and body the stench of death would have given away my true cover but i will douse myself in essential oils and oud so that you will never know what a dead…