Torn

Everyday I fight for something I want,

Something I need dearly,

Because if I don’t,

I know they won’t see clearly.

 

I was a cry baby at first,

But slowly, a teen I became,

And realized I had to fight my own battles,

Before it was too late.

 

And so I fought and fought till I was numb,

Until bruises and bones made me happy,

‘Delinquent’ and ‘bully’ I was called,

I was being mistaken, clearly.

 

Band aids and Heat Sprays covered my body and soul,

Because I was torn from the inside and out,

I fought for my friends and for justice,

But now they just say “Stop it!” and they shout.

 

I thought I was doing the right thing,

Fighting with everyone that threatens me,

But why are the people around me ignoring me?

Am I good or am I bad, tell me?

 

“Don’t hurt me,” a boy tells me,

“I wasn’t going to, my friend,” I say,

But he quivers and I’m stumped,

Why don’t they believe me?

 

I ran home that day,

Not sure of what to think,

Cried in front of a mirror,

Cried in my bed.

 

I only fought for what was right,

I only fought so that people would like me,

But now they see,

This horrible side inside of me.

 

So I stopped trying to be anything,

A bully,

A fighter,

A friend.

 

Invisible I tried to be,

More closed in and shut off,

No more smiling for me.

 

Happy to be misunderstood and unhappy,

I would go through life,

Like a miserable mystery.

 

Until a new girl joined the class,

And sat beside me, just as sad and just as lonely.

“Hi, how are you.” she mumbled,

And somehow we connected, easily.

 

She told me her problems

And I told her mine,

She knew the truth of my mystical demise,

And she was the only cure that I could find.

 

“Fight!” she told me,

“Fight for what’s right!”

I told her I’ll fight for her,

For us, for the sunrise.

 

I thought I regretted fighting everyone till they bled,

But the truth is, justice is justice,

Whether accepted or dead,

LGBT or straight, we deserve the right to love.

 

And I became a lawyer to fight for what’s right,

To fight for my marriage,

To fight for my heart.

 

 

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