Rave

I feel the juices flowing,

I feel the words coming out in tune,

I feel empty but the vibrato gives it texture,

The lyrics mean something,

The melody means something,

I mean nothing.

I feel a gun against my head,

But I’m bobbing my head in rhythm,

“Fuck off!” I say as my head screams,

As the screeching rips my vocal chords,

The beat doesn’t stop me,

Nor does the trigger,

Because I’m immune to shots.

It’s 5 am and I walk home alone,

To get to my kids,

As I get out of my Cinderella gown,

And into a maid’s.

Cracks

Why did such an important part of me have to be so fragile and made of glass?

She over heats when she gets annoyed and becomes as cold as ice when trying to correct my words,

This is an abusive relationship; I throw her around and scratch her body,

Sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident,

Either way, she doesn’t feel pain

But the aftermath of our little war does appear on her surface,

Like the crack on the beloved china doll,

And it pains me for doing that to her.

She is constantly around me and I keep having to recharge her with kisses,

Tell her I love her, but there’s only so long she’ll stay with me,

The cracks on my phone represent all the times I was clumsy and stupid,

She deserves more, She deserves a man with no errors, Not me,

A Mere Human.

College Thought Process

I want to kill myself,

I want to kill myself,

This is a cry for help,

This is a cry for help.

Nothingness seems to welcome me,

And all these pens and pages seem like a waste to me,

Why bother with living when you’re slowly dying?

Anger seems to become me,

Anger seems to become everybody.

Insomnia helps me get an early start in the morning,

And chronic tiredness helps me trudge though the day,

“Why bother with being mentally present

When you can travel the world with me?”

My companion voices told me,

“Don’t be weary, dear-y

Join us,

You might be lonely but we’re lonely together,

Which makes it all the more better,”

Which makes it all the more sadder.

Humility

To err is to human,

But so is to be apologetic,

Humility saves and anger fades.

The quiet life and afterlife.

Undefined

I thought it was a joke when you asked me to kiss you,

But through text, it always was with you,

And when you kept trying to rile me up with your opinions and dark humour,

Never did I think you missed me like I missed you.

To try romance was never in my program scope,

Undefined, yet you wanted to fix that with me,

Friends one second and more the next,

Throwing the word love around like our insults.

I wouldn’t say it was smooth sailing since then,

But I’d do anything to discover your oceans,

I request you to find other people, a relationship open like the sky,

Because I can’t give you everything you want.

But to return to each other if our love lives had enough.