College Thought Process

I want to kill myself,

I want to kill myself,

This is a cry for help,

This is a cry for help.

 

Nothingness seems to welcome me,

And all these pens and pages seem like a waste to me,

Why bother with living when you’re slowly dying?

Anger seems to become me,

Anger seems to become everybody.

 

Insomnia helps me get an early start in the morning,

And chronic tiredness helps me trudge though the day,

“Why bother with being mentally present

When you can travel the world with me?”

 

My companion voices told me,

“Don’t be weary, dear-y

Join us,

You might be lonely but we’re lonely together,

Which makes it all the more better,”

Which makes it all the more sadder.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. thefeatheredsleep says:

    when I first went to college I had a very, very hard time. i wanted to quit. i wanted to die. i wanted to drop out. it got better. i tell you honestly that it will get better. don’t give up. try to talk to someone, try to see a therapist it may help i promise it can’t hurt and if that doesn’t work there is no shame in postponing but don’t hurt yourself because the world already hurts us enough it’s not your fault it’s not your pain that needs increasing you are the survivor not the cause, don’t punish the wrong person (you) you have enough to deal with, be on your side, i know that’s hard believe me but if you could it would help you get through these hard times they will get better it never feels like they possibly can but they do xo xo xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. PandaMan says:

      There are some days when I can’t help but think about how useless all of this is…quitting sounds so good, but it’s not an option. It never will be. Thank you for the concern, I really appreciate your message. And I will persevere and emerge victorious 🙂

      PS. I’m not suicidal. In the poem I was talking about wanting to kill my overly sensitive attitude. I want to stop caring about things that will not change even if I tried.

      Liked by 2 people

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